So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
