is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
