She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
