Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
