Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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