That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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