people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
