she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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