Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
