So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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