i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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