i would punch a child for taco bell
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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