The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
