Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
