i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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