third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
