it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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