So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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