So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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