What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
operation harelip BJ is a go
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
