Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my poor anus
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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