you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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