I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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