break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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