Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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