The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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