i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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