I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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