Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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