I got chris browned last night
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
