My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
