When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
