the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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