dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
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Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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