Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
