After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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