this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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