sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
