So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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