Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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