idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize