this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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