Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
