I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
