youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
