saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize