Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The air taste purple.
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