yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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