on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
