I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize