I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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