Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
