I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
