In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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