it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
