The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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