I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
