margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
