Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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