Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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