Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize