and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
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I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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