Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
