The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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